"What is true love?" is an age-old question people ask multiple times in their lives, and many think that limiting the definition to a few terms is the key to knowing the meaning of true love. If you're after a straightforward answer or how to make a guy fall in love with you, you may not find what you're looking for because everyone defines it differently.

I'm an expert on relationships and dating, here to share my personal insights on what true love is before you start thinking, "I want a boyfriend." You can also read more of my blogs on sites like Up Journey.

Let's get started!


What is True Love

True love is the unconditional commitment to and acceptance of a person regardless of who they were, who they are, and who they will become. It's the type of love everyone strives to have in their lifetime. True love is why people continuously look for partners; in the hopes that they find someone who will love them as they are, and accept their being in its entirety without discrimination, judgment, or contempt.

While answering the question "what is true love?" gets different answers from different people, the common thread is always the same. It's all about giving and receiving complete acceptance. Finding love also feels different for each individual and isn't limited to romantic love. It's also present in platonic relationships and familial relationships. True love can't be defined using one term or another. It's an abstract and subjective feeling of total acceptance and security.

2 Ways Real Love is Defined

True love isn't as easily defined, since each individual has their ways of showing and expressing love. True love comes in many forms, and not all of them are based on romantic foundations. Even so, true love does have common threads regardless of the type of love it sprouts from. Learning the base definitions and signs can lead to treasuring their presence in your life.

True love changes and shifts.

Many people think true love is a blissful experience, a string of one adventure after another. But true love is also about having difficult experiences together, working through them together, and choosing to overcome challenges together. It's the intentional action of going through life's changes and shifts, through all of the hardships, and working through it together as a couple that makes true love.

It's a conscious effort to overcome all life's challenges and work through them together. Being together can be challenging, but can also bring us so much joy. If we keep striving to be the best partners, friends, family members, and parents, we will find that our relationships will develop and deepen.

True love balances reaction and proactiveness.

While this phrase may not seem "romantic" at all, balancing reactions and being proactive is also a sign of true love. After a situation arises, how you react will define the depth of your love. Proactiveness, on the other hand, is about taking steps to initiate change to make something happen. True love balances these two to create perfect symmetry in all aspects of a relationship.

Knowing when to take a reactive response and a proactive response is important. A reactive response means you are ready to jump in and respond to your partner's needs (emotionally and physically) when they need you. Reactive responses include a smile, a hug, or a quick kiss. These are ways to respond quickly when someone needs you.

On the other hand, proactive responses are the ones that allow you to initiate change. When your partner needs you, they should know you are accessible and there for them. A proactive response provides comfort and support when they are sad or upset. Proactive responses are things like asking your partner how their day went regardless of prompting, or planning out a date with them without them even needing to ask for it.

This balance builds real love where both partners feel secure in relying on one another when times get rough instead of fearing abandonment.

Defining real love is complex. It's not something that can only fit into a few words or lines. Instead, it's a strong emotional and physical feeling through experience and intention.

True Love vs. Great Love - Is There a Difference?

True love is an unconditional bond between people who bring out the best versions of themselves for each other. The unconditional love that forms between people who have true love then becomes great love in the long run. A great love is one where two people choose to commit to each other through thick and thin, the easy parts and the difficult parts.

In essence, true and real love blossoms into great love when in a long-term relationship. The commitment, love, and safety both partners feel will surpass simple infatuation or flings, enough to last a lifetime.

Signs That It's Not Just an Infatuation

An infatuation is a temporary feeling of physical or emotional attraction. Infatuations often have similar feeling and emotions as being in love but is usually short-lived and dissipates after a short period. While it is easy to confuse infatuation with true love, there are distinct signs that differentiate it from true love.

Here are 8 signs that what you feel is not just an infatuation but possibly true love.

Sign #1: You feel a different sort of happiness when you're with him.

Happiness hits differently when you are with your soulmate. The deep affection and intense feeling gives off an unmatched fulfillment. Hence, you tend to feel joy peacefully and calmly.

Feeling content and at peace then brings about the happiness that accompanies love. Having that trust and compatible understanding of each other's character and personality makes you happier. You can't imagine your life without your partner. There is no other person you feel comfortable with or care about more than your mate.

Sign #2: You are confident in your relationship.

Confidence in one's relationship develops once there is mutual respect between partners. With that, a healthy relationship starts forming a bond free of unnecessary jealousy because of the high level of trust partners have for each other. Confidence in your relationship is also a sign that shows you that you are willing to make changes to your life for the better.

Such type of love is not exclusive to just romantic relationships. It is a sense of knowing what is right and doing it. You can find confidence in your relationship in many areas of your life. For example, you can be confident in your relationship with your parents, teachers, friends, etc. If you are confident, you are more likely to do what you know will help you grow and develop positively.

Sign #3: You are willing to sacrifice everything for them.

Making sacrifices is a relatively easy thing or choice for the right person. Sacrifice in either habits, lifestyle or even hobbies may happen to make a relationship work. Sometimes, true love requires letting go of old ways to make way for good times in the future.

Also, sacrifices in a relationship that is true love always feel like it is for the better, rather than feeling like an imposing constraint or restriction.

Sign #4: You are at ease with them.

Feeling at ease with another person is one of the signs of true love. You can be at ease with them, even when you are in a good or bad mood. Being at ease also means knowing you will not feel alone or abandoned at any point, no matter the stage in your life.

Additionally, couples that feel at ease in a relationship can go about their day without worrying too much about the relationship itself. If you feel at ease in a relationship, you will not worry about whether the other person will leave you or you will leave them.

Ease also means you won't worry about getting jealous or feeling threatened by the other person, and you will also be able to express your feelings without fear of getting into trouble or angering your partner.

Sign #5: Money is not an issue between the two of you.

Dealing with financial obligations is often a sore spot for couples; however, partners with a strong and trusting foundation for their relationship do not let money matters come between them. Being financially stable and independent is important when it comes to love and commitment, but it is not the only thing that brings happiness and contentment.

In situations of true real love, times of financial hardship tends to strengthen the bond rather than destroy it. Both partners find ways to improve and sacrifice to reach their goals without holding it against each other or guilt-tripping for making such sacrifices.

Sign #6: He made you a better person.

With true happiness comes being a better person. Because there is no negative emotional baggage or feelings of being alone, real love often leads to both partners becoming the best versions of themselves.

Just like in romance novels, the constant affection, trust, love, and assurance alleviate the stress and longing for a companion you can be vulnerable with. In turn, you'll feel less burdened by worries and happier about where and who you are.

Sign #7: You start to make plans for your future together.

Making plans for the future is the ultimate sign that your love is true. Not all romantic relationships reach this level of commitment or have the marriage destiny in mind. Committing to future plans, especially involving your family and/or children, is extremely important. Having goals for your future will show that you care about your family.

Planning for your future gives you something to look forward to and helps you stay motivated. If you and your spouse have made plans for the future, you will remain focused and committed to each other.

Sign #8: Your instinct tells you so.

Lastly, if your instincts tell you that the relationship feels just right - it's one of the most important signs of love. Your intuition can also help you to know if you want to get into a relationship, so make sure to pay close attention to it.

Passionate relationships may sometimes feel right, but passion isn't everything. You can have passion and not be in love. Passionate people can indeed have a great connection, but they don't necessarily mean they love someone. Using your instinct to separate pure passionate relationships from real love is the best way to know for yourself what you want and need in a loving, long-term relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Knowing what true love is can be challenging to spot, especially when you're experiencing new love. However, these frequently asked questions should help guide you along.

Can you still find true love after a failed long-time relationship?

Yes, finding true love tends to happen at unexpected times and places, even if you have just come out of a failed long-term relationship. It might feel difficult to move on and find room in your heart to let another person in, but rest assured that even if you experienced a failed relationship, there is still a chance to find true love.

Does true love last?

True love lasts as long as you stay committed to your partner. No relationship is easy all the time. There will always be difficult patches to overcome. Still, so long as you and your partner are willing to go the distance, the relationship can and will last, even once the new relationship butterflies have passed.

Can flings turn into serious feelings?

Flings or relationships based on physical attraction can turn into long-term relationships. It's all about the bond and connection partners develop over the time they spend together. So long as both are comfortable and happy, even a simple fling can be a true love match for a lifetime.

Does true love ever break up?

True love is the commitment partners have in braving the good and bad times together, come what may, but there are instances when even the best loves go their separate ways. In the lens of true love, it is often a mutual decision made amicably and in agreement. Usually, partners part ways not because they feel out of love but because external circumstances force their hand. However, even if true love sometimes ends, it does not mean it is negative.

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What is true love? - the question on everyone's mind. It is simply the ability to be your true self around your partner without fear of judgment or abandonment. It's more than passion. It's a deep intimacy that extends beyond physical attraction into a more fulfilling and joyful life experience.