This list of controversial relationship questions is just what you need to get deep with your partner.

As an expert in relationship topics, I have been featured on countless sites like Bustle and Women's Health. Our readers also enjoy my posts about personal questions to ask and controversial topics to talk about, so I just know that these deep questions to ask a guy are what you need to get to know him on another level.Let's start!


Ultimate List of Controversial Relationship Questions Worth Asking

Maintaining a great conversation with someone is one of the best ways to connect and bond. Whether it is a romantic relationship or even just a friendship, having someone you can easily talk to is the foundation for any successful relationship. When you find someone who listens to you without judgment, you can share things about yourself on a deeper level. It's something you might not be able to do with many people, which makes the connection that much more special.

Many topics may be too provocative or controversial when talking to other people. These kinds of issues usually start heated fights and arguments that typically end really badly. But, in a healthy relationship, a controversial question can lead to a meaningful conversation that will tell you a lot about your partner. When you find a person open to your ideas, no matter how much they contradict theirs, it's important to keep them around.

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3 Arguable Topics To Ask Singles

Asking interesting questions is a great way to find out if someone's on your radar. A genuine connection is an important thing to have before getting into a relationship with someone. Before you date someone, you should consider using some of these fun conversation starters to see if you will enjoy talking to them.

1. What characteristics do you think are necessary for a strong relationship?

This is a good relationship question to ask because it tells you what his non-negotiables are. You'll find out the aspects he values the most, which will help you see if you are on the same page. It will also help you decide if you're willing to start a relationship with him, knowing what you know about his preferences.

2. Can love be faked?

Things like gaslighting and love bombing are common occurrences in relationships these days. With the advent of social media, there are so many ways to lie and fool people. If you're asking if love can be faked, it could very well be done. Ask him if he thinks it's possible, and prod a little when he answers with either yes or no. Let him explain why he thinks so and see how important honesty and transparency are to him.

3. Would you be at ease expressing to your partner what good you saw in your ex?

Talking about your previous relationship without any awkwardness or tension is a commendable ability in any healthy relationship. If your current partner can listen to you talk about your past relationship and not get mad, you've got yourself a mature and secure person who just wants to know you inside out.

4 Sensitive Topics To Ask Couples

Being in a relationship with someone you trust is a great experience I'd recommend to anyone. There are many questions girls are scared to ask guys, but if you're a girl who fully trusts a guy, you wouldn't actually be afraid to ask anything. Awkward, controversial, and even unusual stuff may be weird to talk about with other people, but that shouldn't be the case with your boyfriend.

4. Is there anything you regret doing with me?

This is a good question because you can tell if he is comfortable enough sharing this with you, even with the possibility of you getting upset. If it's a small thing, like going camping or attending church, then maybe he's able to look past it and try other new things that you would both enjoy. If it's a big thing, like taking an out-of-town trip or moving in together, it's definitely something you've got to discuss thoroughly with each other.

5. Do you love your siblings more than you love me?

Finding someone who has a great fondness for their family is great. If they have a favorite family member or a favorite memory of their childhood, you should know about it. It shouldn't matter if he loves his family more than he loves you because you should know whether or not he values his family. You should be on the same page about an important life aspect like that.

6. Are you happy with the amount of time that we can spend without each other?

If there's any useful relationship advice I would give to anyone I know, it would be to make sure you're perfectly comfortable being by yourself before bringing someone into your life. Talking about it with your partner is important because sometimes, people have difficulty saying what they want. If he needs some more me-time, then it would be good for you to try and give that to him.

Encourage him to go out with his friends or for him to spend time with his family so that he'll have enough time to connect with people outside of your relationship.

7. Would you forgive me if I told you that I slept with someone after getting drunk?

Cheating is sometimes a topic of debate among couples. There are actions that people can definitely classify as cheating or not, and there are some that are sometimes in the grey area that people need to talk about to get on the same page. Now, you need to agree with each other to know what stuff you're comfortable with.

3 Intriguing Love Topics To Talk About Between Friends

When you and your friends are hanging around with nothing to talk about, it's good to have a list of deep questions to ask friends to make the conversation fun and interesting. It's pretty enjoyable to know how your friends' minds work and how their backgrounds can affect how they reason out.

Plus, it's good to know that there are some things you still don't know about people you've been with since childhood or high school. It will help you connect with them on another level.

8. Does physical attraction play a key role in maintaining a strong bond in a friendship?

I would argue that it should not because it's not like you're starting a romantic relationship with your friend. However, some people have different opinions. It may not matter for some, but others may perceive physical attraction as an important aspect of maintaining a good friendship.

It may be something that keeps them interested in making an effort to stay friends. Find out what they think about this. It will definitely be an interesting topic to talk about.

9. Do you form friendships based on shared interests?

If you're discussing this with long-term friends, then you'd probably have the same answers to this question. Maybe you've bonded over a favorite thing, like a great movie or a notable band. Perhaps you've clicked over mutual hate for someone else.

They could also share how they made friends outside of your group. Whatever the answer, you'll get many good stories from this question.

10. Have you ever lied to a friend?

Making mistakes is unavoidable in any friendship. When something bad happens to you, and your friend coincidentally does it, then it hurts twice as bad. Find out if your friend has ever done something like this.

It doesn't necessarily have to be towards you, but allow them to share their experience about lying and how they corrected it. It gives you a useful topic to talk about.

3 Hot Topics About Relationships To Talk About Between Married Couples

If you're not married yet, it's actually fun to ask some married couples some interesting questions that have varying answers for every couple. Bring up a controversial topic, like leaving the toilet seat up or taking the trash out, and you'll get a funny related story from them in a snap. There's no embarrassing thing when it comes to married couples because they are usually really open about their relationship, especially to people who need advice about relationships.

11. What kind of parent do you think you would become?

Some people who have tried asking this question might say that this is their favorite way to determine if their partner is open to having kids. When you ask this question to a newlywed couple, it opens up the conversation about what kind of parenting styles they would like to adopt. It will also let you decide if any of those methods appeal to you and are things you'd like to try when you decide to have children.

12. Househusband — good or bad?

Even if you're not speaking to a married couple, this is a good question to ask your boyfriend. Many couples have varied living conditions, sometimes requiring the fathers to stay home with the kids. Find out if your boyfriend is open to sacrificing important things for your family, and discover his reasoning behind the answer. I bet a married couple would say this is not a problem as long as the entire family is provided for - no matter who provides.

13. Is it possible to live with a person you don’t love?

Loveless marriages are common among long-term couples who have lost the will to work on their relationship. It's also common in marriages with the threat of violence. Often, the abused victim stays in the relationship out of fear, not love. Find out what your partner thinks of this and see if you agree with what he believes about domestic violence. It's important to be on the same page about this because it should be a non-negotiable aspect of a marriage.

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3 Intense Topics To Ask About Relationships Answerable With Yes or No

Most people think you should always put your best foot forward in a relationship. While it is a good idea to make a good effort to impress your partner, it's also necessary to be completely yourself, whether or not that may have a negative impact. Releasing your inner thoughts, even if you think they would contradict those of your partner, will show how open you are with each other.

It shows maturity in the face of diversity. When you can ask your partner anything, even questions that are out of the ordinary, it means you completely trust them. If you need a list of thought-provoking questions, we've got a good one on our site here.

14. Are dating apps making love less meaningful?

Tread carefully with this question because many people are meeting each other online, one way or another. In fact, most long-distance relationships begin with a conversation on a dating app. One would argue that those are the most meaningful relationships.

Imagine having a connection with someone without the requirement of physical contact. Discuss this with your significant other and see if he agrees with you.

15. Is it possible to have a mismatch of intimacy needs in a relationship?

It's actually a common issue for couples. Not everyone has the same needs in a relationship, so it's not unusual to have difficulty finding common ground. When you ask this question, ensure you're ready to listen to his needs and work on finding a compromise.

It will do you a lot of good to know what he needs because then you can find a way to provide those for him.

16. Do you think it’s ok to date a friend’s ex?

Have you ever done this? Because most people would advise against it. Ask this question to your partner and find out what he thinks about it. It may be a direct yes or no. It may also be an "It depends." kind of situation. Listen to his point of view to find out if you agree with it.

Downloadable and Printable List of Controversial Relationship Questions

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of controversial relationship questions  (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):

Should You Ask Things That May Raise Controversy Between You and Your Partner?

Yes. You should definitely ask things that may raise controversy between you and your partner. Challenges are difficult yet necessary in any relationship. Plus, finding out how different you may be with your partner is often interesting and stimulating. It actually makes the relationship more genuine when you still love someone despite your differences.

Asking controversial relationship questions to your partner may not always be intentional. When you trust someone completely, you speak your mind freely, and you can ask things that may be awkward or weird without needing to pause or hesitate. We all need someone who doesn't judge us for speaking our minds.

If you find someone you want to share your life with, make sure they are open-minded enough to listen to you and accept who you are, regardless of how contradicting your beliefs may be.

How To Ask Debatable Relationship Topics

Is there a question or topic in this list that you want to ask, but you feel like you're going to mess it up? Don't worry. I get it. It's normal to feel nervous when you talk about controversial stuff because an argument may arise from it. That's why we've compiled a few useful tips for you.

Here's how to ask debatable relationship topics:

1. Pick a good time.

When you're fully aware of the question you're going to ask, make sure you pick a good time to talk about it. You should be in an environment quiet enough to speak thoroughly about the topic you've chosen. Don't ask a tension-filled question in a room full of people. You won't be able to get a good answer, trust me.

2. Keep an open mind.

Any one of these questions will reward you with unusual and mind-boggling answers, so make sure to be open-minded and understanding about anything you hear. After all, you're asking these questions to know more about your partner. You should listen to what they have to say and figure out if you like them enough to accept any differences that may come up.

3. Take what you can and use it.

Accept it and move on if you get an answer you weren't expecting. Then, use that information to make an informed decision. Asking these questions should be for a reason. When you get it, make sure you use your information.

Decide if the answer you got is good for you. If it is, then carry on. If it's not, then maybe it's time to reevaluate things with your partner. When you hear something out of the ordinary, it may also be an opportunity for you to be more sensitive to your partner's background and beliefs.

That way, you grow to become better partners for each other.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you still have some concerns about asking controversial relationship questions? Here are a few frequently asked questions that may give you more information:

Why do couples sometimes avoid talking about their past?

It has something to do with moving on and choosing to put away certain memories that don't help them grow. It's sometimes good for someone's mental health to talk about their past. However, it might not be the case for everyone. Make sure that you listen to their cues because that's how you'll know if they're good at talking about things that happened in the past.

Do guys feel comfortable when confronted with awkward things to talk about?

Anyone can feel a little uneasy when asked certain awkward questions. However, that isn't exactly why men pull away. Mature men can handle being confronted with controversy and touchy issues because they are more concerned about how they perceive themselves rather than how others perceive them.

Are girls more vocal about answering intriguing topics than guys?

It doesn't necessarily have to do with gender. It's more about how one is brought up by their parents and what environment they grew up in. If your parents have taught you to be unapologetically yourself, then I believe you'd be comfortable answering any kind of question, whether you're a boy or a girl.

Does being honest strengthen relationships more?

Yes. Being transparent helps you get to know each other to your core. When you fully know someone, it creates a bond that is not easily broken. When you can be honest with someone, it means you trust them enough to show them all the aspects of your life, even the ones you're not particularly proud of.

More Interesting Topics To Ask

I know you're enjoying the stuff we've taught so far, so I know you will love these related posts about the same topic. We've got many more related articles to help you talk to guys. Here are some of them:

  1. Do you want to have a good conversation with the guy you like? Choose any one of these questions to ask your crush and find out more about him.
  2. Meeting a guy for the first time can be nerve-wracking. That's why you should have a good list of questions to get to know someone to avoid any awkward air.
  3. If you've been dating a guy for some time, I bet you're just dying to ask some weird yet necessary questions. Check out this list of awkward questions to ask a guy and see if he has the guts to answer them honestly.


Now, you've got a great list of controversial relationship questions to ask the guy you're dating.

If you're still trying to figure out how much he likes you, see if any of these personal questions to ask are quite controversial and unusual make sure that you choose the ones that will really get him thinking. You might not always get the answer you want, but at least you will discover new levels of his personality that you wouldn't have known any other way. Good luck!