In this post, we'll teach you how to not be clingy, especially if you think it's taking a toll on your relationship.
As a relationship coach and expert, I highly recommend that boundaries be set to ensure you and your partner are happy. You can trust me on this one since my post on how to stop overthinking in a relationship is a hit. You can also see my insights on websites like Bustle and UpJourney.
Let's start becoming better partners!
Why Is It Important To Know How To Avoid Being Clingy?
It's important to know how to stop being clingy to avoid putting a strain on your relationship. Although clingy behavior stems from a myriad of reasons, it's a surefire way to smother and suffocate your partner. A clingy person will do everything to be closer to their partners, sometimes even taking measures that are out of line.
Having a clingy girlfriend seems like something men would like at first, especially when the relationship is at its honeymoon stage. However, as the relationship progresses, both people need to grow to have a healthy relationship.
If you want your romantic relationship to flourish, you should have nothing more than a healthy amount of clinginess, which entails understanding your mental health, insecurity, or neediness.
Separation Anxiety In A Relationship
Separation anxiety is the worry of being separated from someone deeply close to you because we feel like safety and security are being taken away from us. This feeling is common in relationships because we rely on our partners for support, assurance, and security.
If you become distressed when your partner is not around, even if it's not for long periods, it's separation anxiety. Sometimes, even the thought of being away from your partner can cause you intense anguish. This event is common, but sadly, it drives relationships to their end. It's best to acknowledge the feeling if it's there and causing harm to the relationship.
How To Respect His Personal Space: Let Go And Be Independent
Clingy partners make for a disastrous relationship. It takes great effort to be conscious of how clingy you are and how it may affect your relationship. Accepting that there's a problem is the first step. Once you're aware, now it's time to let go and do your own thing. Regardless of where your clingy nature is coming from, whether it's some trust issue or seemingly inexplicable abandonment issues, there are steps to stop it from damaging your relationship.
Step #1: Pursue what interests you.
Keep your mind away from your relationship and partner by spending time on the things that interest you. Find hobbies that you know you will enjoy. This is a good way to avoid being clingy, but at the same time, it allows you to become a better and well-rounded person.
Step #2: Build up confidence in yourself.
Feeling insecure is one thing that makes us clingy. We want our partner to give us attention to secure our feelings. However, we should never rely on others, whether a close friend or a family member, to make us feel secure because if that's what we do, we'll always be dependent. What we have to do is build confidence in ourselves.
To build confidence, there are things that we can do. These steps are not the kind that will show results overnight, so you have to be willing to make the change.
The first way to build confidence is to look at your achievements. Be proud of them, and if need be, showcase them! You should recognize what you have done and realize that these are things you can do, so you can do them again and do more. Stop comparing yourself and focus on being a better version of yourself.
Another way is to practice self-care. More than giving yourself a makeover, it's about giving yourself a healthy and happy lifestyle. It's about being mindful and grateful. If you do these things, you focus on improving yourself, allowing you to have a growth mindset.
Lastly, try new things to challenge yourself. It can be hard at first, but when you allow yourself to experience new things, you're building confidence that you can do more than you're already comfortable with.
Step #3: Keep yourself busy.
It doesn't matter what you do (as long as it's moral and legal), but keeping yourself busy is a good idea. Go to a social event, travel alone, or hang out with your friends. You can also focus a lot of your attention on work. Remember, though, that although social media can be a great way to keep busy, it also (most of the time) feeds our insecurity, so best avoid it.
If it's getting your mind off of wanting attention and assurance, go for it.
Step #4: Make alone time for something you look forward to.
Once you've gotten new hobbies and kept yourself busy, it's possible that you have found something that you can always look forward to. Make sure that it's an activity that you can do by yourself. Make time to do that activity without your boyfriend. It's a great way to give your partner space, but it's also a way to clear your mind.
Step #5: Talk to your partner.
Open up to your partner about your issues. As much as you don't want a clingy boyfriend, it's the same for him. Open up about what makes you clingy. Are you a needy person because you have trust issues? Let him know about it. Do you have relationship anxiety because of a past relationship? Explain it.
Remember, you still are in a relationship, so your partner should know about it. It's something that both of you should work on, but the bulk of the work should be on you. Once you get through this together, you will feel like a new person in a new relationship that's healthier and happier.
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Words Of Advice From A Relationship Expert
It's important to have some words of encouragement if there's a goal that you want to reach. In this case, if you want to stop being a clingy partner, some advice might help.
To those who are in a long-distance relationship:
It's hard to trust your partner when you're miles apart. The anxiety is greater. However, you always need to be a strong woman. If you want your romantic partner to confide in you, allow him to enjoy his environment, but he should still have time to open up. This should be how you do things, too: focus on yourself and activities you enjoy but make time for him. It's all about compromise.
To those who are married:
Married life is hard. There are more challenges than when you weren't married. Affection might not come too easily, and so do time and understanding. Sometimes, we lose ourselves trying to keep the relationship going. However, it's important to still find individuality even though you are "one" with each other. Trust in your partner so he can trust you, too. Always communicate, but give space to each other.
Frequently Asked Questions
Changing yourself from a clingy person to an independent and secure one does not happen overnight. It's not easy, and you probably have a million questions. We're here to answer some of them.
Why do I always seek constant reassurance from him?
Wanting reassurance is usually because of anxiety. Anxiety stems from a lot of things. This is why being clingy is so complicated because sometimes, you have to rewind to even your earliest memory to understand where things are coming from. You may have been a clingy child because you have abandonment issues. It may be because you did not have a good experience in your past relationship. Whatever it is, if you need to seek help, please do so, and be sure to seek positive and healthy relationships so you can have the proper support.
How do I stop being too needy?
The steps we've outlined earlier help a lot! But more than that, having a solid support system is essential.
Is being clingy toxic in a relationship?
That's not always the case. However, as they say, too much of anything is dangerous. Too much clinginess can be toxic. If you're unsure if your relationship is becoming toxic, it's best to know and understand the signs you're in a toxic relationship.
What should I do to resolve trust issues in a relationship?
Communicate, seek help, and heal. It's not easy, but if you're determined enough, with a great support system, it's possible. It's hard to rebuild trust, but it's not impossible.
More Steps On How To Make Him Chase You
Becoming a better person is one way to make him chase you, but there are a handful more ways, and we'll share them with you.
- If you want to learn how to make him want you, you must give this a read and give all your effort.
- Sometimes, all we need to do to make someone realize that they like us is for them to miss us. Learn how to make him miss you and more here.
- Even if you're far away, sending a text to make him think about you can drive him crazy about you.
- It's a good strategy to not give in too easily to someone. Learn how to play hard to get here.
We hope that these steps on how to not be clingy help you become a new and improved person. You can make your relationship happier and stronger if you become independent since you're allowing yourself and your partner to grow individually while growing the relationship.