Understanding how to play hard to get can help your love life, but it can go sour if you're not careful. Finding that balance between pulling him in an pushing him away can be a bit tricky. After all, your goal is to learn how to make him miss you, not how to make him forget about you.
Playing hard to get is a delicate art. If you're trying to understand how to get a boyfriend, you have to consider how your actions affect your love interest — play too hard to get, and he might just move along. Read on to discover how to make him want you naturally.
Why is playing hard to get important?
So, why should you learn how to play hard to get? The answer is simple: it works! Stick with me for a minute, and let's look at it from an economic standpoint.
Scarcity drives value. In other words, people want what they can't have. Often, the easiest way to increase the price of a product is to only offer it in limited quantities.
Now, obviously you're not a product, but the core principle remains the same! By playing hard to get, you can really drive a guy wild. You can make him crave that which he can not (seemingly) obtain. The trick is to do it in a fun way, not a malicious one.
How to play hard to get
So you've decided that playing hard to get is the right move. It's not as simple as just not returning his texts or being busy Friday night. Again, you don't want him to think you're not interested at all — you just want him to recognize your true value.
Follow these steps and you'll have him eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.
1. Don't Forget to Be Sweet
Playing hard to get has kind of a bad reputation. It's important that you're kind and sometimes even flirtatious (when it feels right). This is a guy you care about, after all, and you don't want to hurt him!
Be yourself. If you want to know how to play hard to get, it's not about being cruel to the poor fella. You just want to give the impression that you know that you have options (and you do).
If you bump into him, don't just tell him to 'talk to the hand' and then be on your way. You can still smile and have a great time even while you're playing hard to get.
2. Be Honest with Yourself
As you play hard to get, it's easy to accidentally ruin your own fun. Do you want to go on a date with him? Do it! Don't reject a potentially positive experience in the name of being elusive. Be aware of your own personal feelings, and try not to accidentally play hard to get with yourself.
Playing hard to get often just means not throwing yourself at him. You're playing the long game — seeing the big picture. Maybe that means you won't immediately text him after the date to tell him he's the man of your dreams. BUT, if he texts you to say you're the lady of him dreams, why not send back a smiley emoticon?
Trust your instincts, but know when they might be working against you too. Do you want to text him first thing in the morning to let him know that every time he looks at you your knees buckle? Maybe reconsider that one. However, sending him a friendly text to tell him to have a great day is sweet, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes playing hard to get means just playing it cool and not letting your feelings take control.
All too often, playing hard to get is mistaken for rejection. Let's say he asks you to go to the movies Friday night. If you're in hard-to-get mode, your first instinct might just be to say 'nah.'
Instead, you could say something like, 'I'm still figuring out my Friday plans, but I'll let you know!' That way you're leaving the option open in case you genuinely do want to go with him, but you're also not rejecting him or diving in head-first.
Or, let's say he's texting you nonstop. Instead of texting back 'leave me alone,' you could say something like, 'Hey, super busy right now, I'll be around later though!'
You don't want him to feel like he's bothering you. If he's a good guy, he's going to be looking for cues to see if you're interested or if he's wasting both of your time. Don't just flat-out deny him if you truly like him. Honest communication is the key to any successful relationship, even in its early stages.
4. Take Your Time
Just because you open a door doesn't mean you have to let him in. Good things take time, and that's often especially true when it comes to affairs of the heart. Even if you believe in love at first sight, taking it slow still tends to work out better.
Crushes can be fleeting. As you learn how to play hard to get, you may find that it actually helps you to keep your romantic feelings in check. After all, you never know when that crush might fade. Playing hard to get makes it possible to let him down easy if you lose interest.
If he's really worth pursuing, he'll be willing to take the relationship at your pace. Any guy who makes you feel rushed isn't worth your time.
While you don't want to rush head-over-heels into a relationship, you also want to keep him interested. So, don't always wait for him to make the first move. Sometimes you can be the one to send a random flirty text. Just do it when it feels right to you.
Remember: you're in charge of your own actions. Never let a guy make you feel pressured to do something you're not ready for, whether it's physical or emotional. If you're not ready, wait until you are. This way of playing hard to get is going to benefit both of you in the long run.
5. Know When to Dive In
Playing hard to get isn't usually an ideal approach once the relationship becomes more real. At some point, you're probably going to want to embrace the relationship with no games.
Again, you're on your own personal timeline, so pay attention to that. Once you feel like it's time to open up a bit more and let him into your life, go for it. If you play hard to get for too long, it starts to form the actual dynamic of the relationship. He might start to wonder if you actually just aren't interested at all.
Try to let him in bit-by-bit over time so there's not a drastic transformation when you decide to come out of your cocoon and become a full butterfly.
More Steps on How To Get A Boyfriend
Understanding how to play hard to get is just one of the many ways you can get a guy to fall for you. Here are some other tried-and-true methods:
- Knowing how to tell if a guy likes you is the first step.
- If you're thinking, "I want a boyfriend," it's time to take action!
- Playing hard to get is just one option as you learn how to make him want you.
Now that you know how to play hard to get, you may be itching to give it a try. That's the opposite of playing hard to get! This method should really only be used when there's a spark between you and your love interest, and you want to cultivate that spark into a raging inferno over time.
Knowing how to make him miss you is a valuable tool in your kit, but it's not the only one. There may be times when the relationship is just too perfect right from the start, and you just don't want to play hard to get. That's okay!
The key to understanding how to get a boyfriend is to recognize that every guy (and every relationship) is unique. What works for one may not work for another. Love is complicated, but it's also incredibly easy. Trust your instincts, and be yourself. From there, everything should fall into place naturally.