Robin Sutherns | Mar 20, 2022 | 0
Should I Text Him? - 3 Steps to consider before hitting send.
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"Should I text him?" It's no secret that texting is usually the preferred means of communication these days. The tricky part is recognizing when it's the right time to send that text. Whether you're struggling with how to get a boyfriend or just nervous about reaching out to an old friend, becoming a master in the art of texting is bound to help your social/romantic life.
Of course, knowing how to tell if a guy likes you makes things a whole lot easier — if you know he's into you, send that text!
However, if you're trying to learn how to get a boy to like you, things get a little more complicated. The art of texting can be delicate. You don't want to come on too strong, but you also don't want to ignore him.
Why Is Knowing When You Should Text Him So Important?
It may seem silly, but the truth is that how and when you text someone can drastically affect how the relationship pans out. Text him too soon and you may come off as desperate. Wait too long and you may lose your chance.
Knowing when you should text him is so important because texting is often the first opportunity to really connect with someone new. Even if you've already been on a few dates, opening up via text is easier than trying to express yourself while making eye contact.
Additionally, you can think about each text to make sure it's perfect. We've all had those awkward IRL moments when you blurt out something silly and feel embarrassed. It happens! Texting is a great tool because you can think about your text for a minute before you decide to hit the send button.
So you're asking yourself, "Should I text him?" Your mind is racing, your hands are sweaty, and your second-guessing every single word, symbol, emoticon, and gif. Those feelings are natural. Breathe. Relax. Yes, texting is important, but it's certainly not the end of the world either.
Try not to overthink it. After all, if the guy's worth knowing, he's not going to judge you solely on a lame text or two. As long as you know when to text him, the rest should come naturally. Texting takes two, and you can be sure he's going to be putting his own words under a microscope too. Have some fun with it, and try not to drive yourself crazy critiquing your texts too deeply.
Recognize your worth and your power. He's probably more scared than you, so go ahead and take charge!
How to Know if You Should Text Him
Should I text him? Maybe I should wait. But if I wait, he may think I'm not interested. But if I talk to him now, he may think I'm too interested.
Sound familiar? You're not alone. Those pre-text mental battles are very common.
Instead of getting too deep into your own head, ask yourself the following questions before texting. Eventually, you'll become a bona fide text wizard able to cast spells on the hearts of your crushes with just a few swipes of your thumb.
Here is how to know if you should text him:
1. Have You Met Him?
Nine times out of ten, texting a stranger out of nowhere is a bad move. Even if you got his number from a mutual friend, he might be a little weirded out to receive a text from someone he's never met. Put yourself in his shoes.
As a rule of thumb, you should wait until you've at least had a quick IRL conversation before you start blowing up his phone. That way he can put a face to the text. Even if he's a single guy looking for love, receiving a faceless text may drive him away.
If you absolutely must text him before meeting him, make it clear how you got his number and how he might know you, and you may want to acknowledge that you know that texting out of the blue is a little...unorthodox.
"Hey this is weird, but ___ gave me your number. My name is ___, I loved your band the other night."
Ideally, you should have a reason to text him beyond confessing your undying love — even if it's not actually a real reason. You could ask about a homework assignment or straight-up just tell him you think he's hot. Either way, have a reason for your text. Don't confuse him.
2. Are You Clearheaded?
Alcohol and phones go together like olives and ice cream aka don't do it. After a few drinks, shooting a drunk text or two or twenty may seem like a brilliant plan, but it rarely is. If you're not sober, don't send it. You need to be on your A-game.
Being clearheaded doesn't just mean being sober! Did you just break up with your ex for the last time? Are you in a vulnerable state of mind? Recognizing your mindset is important when you're wondering, if you should text him.
If you're not positive that sending the text is a good idea, sleep on it. Most of the time, that super urgent text can wait until you've thought it over.
3. Will He Respond Positively?
Before texting someone, always put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to receive this text right now? Context matters when it comes to texting.
A great time to text someone out of the blue is when something reminded you of them. Maybe you just saw a movie that had an actor that looks like them. Maybe you just ate at a restaurant you know they love. Those types of texts almost always land because it's clear that you had a legitimate motivation for sending them.
Often, mistake texts happen because you're texting to satiate your own needs. Maybe you just need to get something off your chest. Maybe you're crushing hard and you just have to say something or you'll explode. Maybe you're wondering why men pull away and you want answers.
Ask yourself whether you're texting for a reason or if you just feel the need for a human connection at that point in time. If it's the latter, call or text a friend or family member for now, and then text him when you're not feeling so vulnerable.
More Tricks On How to Get The Guy
Upping your texting game is just one of many ways to get the guy. Be sure to check out these other handy guides for navigating the complicated world of romance:
- Learning how to attract men is a huge step towards finding your Prince Charming.
- Once you know how to play hard to get, you can attract your crush more effectively.
- When you're not around, you want to know how to make him miss you.
Should I text him or wait? The simple truth is that there's no single rule that makes the decision easy. It's up to you to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision.
In most cases, it's better to be safe than sorry. If you're not sure if sending that text is the right move, there's probably a reason for your doubt.
At the end of the day, it's just a text. You'd be hard-pressed to find a single person who hasn't sent at least one regrettable text in their day.
If you send a text and it flops, don't stress. There are million-and-one texts to be sent in the future, so don't overthink them. As long as you keep your texts fun and friendly, he's not going to complain.