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Jealousy: Ways to Stop Being Jealous With These 3 Exciting Simple Steps

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Robin is our female dating expert, style guru and resident life coach. Her expertise has been featured on Reader's Digest, Bustle, Hello Giggles, Best Life Online, Cheat Sheet, and many more. She lives with her fian ...
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by | June 1st, 2022


If you've wondered about a simple and easy way on how to stop being jealous, this post is for you.

First, we taught you how to get over a breakup. Now it's time to stop the often unintentional pettiness.

This post will help you put those jealous feelings aside. We all know how it feels to be jealous, and it's not good! So let's put an end to your jealous tendencies and start.

Contents

Why Jealousy Should Be Stopped?

Jealousy is the green-eyed monster. Being jealous is never a good thing. It's a sign of being insecure and not being fully confident in yourself. Of course, sometimes, there are legitimate reasons to be jealous, but other times, it's all in your head.

Jealousy can break up a couple and cause unnecessary arguments. It's essential to know how to stop being jealous to feel at peace in your relationship and others.

Not only this, feeling envy puts you in a bad mood and makes you resent the people you love (usually) for no reason. Before you come to conclusions about another person, try working on your problem of relationship jealousy over everything.

Contents

How To Overcome Being Desireous Of Other's Advantages

Jealousy is hard to overcome. We all know this. Everyone feels jealous to some extent, but when it gets out of hand, you've got to put a stop to it. It can harm your self-esteem and people's lives. You've got to learn how to stop being jealous, so you can feel better about yourself and others.

Here's how to stop being jealous:

1. Talk Things Out

Sometimes, intense jealousy can come, ultimately, from your thoughts. When we see our partner talking with another woman, we sometimes feel an instant sense of envy. This jealousy can play in our minds to be bigger than it is. Occasionally, our partner's behavior doesn't even mean anything!

When this happens, you feel angry towards your spouse for something you don't even know they did. Maybe they're just talking to a friend like you do with your male friends. It's best to speak with your partner and let them know how you feel so they can reassure you that it's nothing that you think it is. You would reassure a jealous boyfriend, too, right?

Pro Tip #1 Calm Yourself

Make sure that you talk to your significant other maturely and calmly. You may be a negative emotion, but yelling and accusing your partner of things you thought they did will only cause more problems. That's not how a healthy relationship goes.

Pro Tip #2 Timing is Important

Pick the right time to talk about a subject like this. It's never fun to have to defend yourself when all you did was make your partner unintentionally jealous. Try to avoid opening up the subject before bed or when your partner is tired. As a girlfriend in a romantic relationship, you should consider these things and be understanding as much as you can.

2. Find the Source

People can feel jealous because of insecurityfearand self-esteem issues. You may also feel jealous because of something that happened in a past relationship.

When a former spouse cheats or is incredibly flirty, a person will think that this can happen in the relationship they're in now. This can be a source of where the jealousy stems from. The anxiety can worsen the feelings and trust issues.

Figuring out where the jealousy comes from can help you find ways to deal, or confront, the problem. It's the first healthy way to remove the negative feeling.

3. Think Positively

Thinking positively of the good things in your life can help you get rid of some of the jealousy you feel towards other people's success. It can also help you reduce the stress you're feeling, which accompanies jealousy. Happiness and gratitude can go a long way.

When you're having strong feelings of excessive jealousy of someone else's accomplishment, think of all the things you've accomplished. When you see your partner talking to other girls, think about all the great things about them.

Remember that everyone's life has its ups and downs no matter how you see it. And, you never know, that person may be feeling jealous of you, the same way you are, of them. Be a friend and remove the anger and jealous thought.

Pro Tip #1 Stay Off Social Media

Sometimes, you only feel occasional jealousy when you look at social media. Social media will mostly always show you the best part of someone's life. That doesn't mean that their life is perfect, so don't feel jealousy towards them. Think about it; why would anyone want to post nasty things about their life?

Odds are, their life is probably just as great (or not great) as yours.

What Causes Jealousy?

Jealous thoughts can often occur when you start comparing people. If you've low self-esteem, unhealthy jealousy can erupt when you start seeing the things in other people you don't have. When another person's got something that you don't, like another person's affection, you become jealous both of the receiving party and the giving party. By comparing yourself to them in these unfavorable ways, you can create resentment towards other people and their blessings and insecurity about what you lack compared to them.

Ultimately, the easiest and most common cause of jealousy is just looking at other people and what they have, then applying that to yourself. If you look at people more objectively and take what they have at face value, you can reduce the jealousy you feel towards them. Don't make everything a means of comparing each other. It will only cause suspicion and distrust, harming your relationships with others.

Jealousy vs Envy - What's the difference?

Jealousy, by definition, is intense suspicion towards other people and their character or their advantages. It can also mean apprehension and rivalry towards the party you're jealous of. On the other hand, envy implies discontent and longing for another person's advantages and position. While these seem similar, the main difference between the two is the target of the jealous/envious person. When you're jealous, you're usually jealous of the person with the advantages, not the advantages themselves. When you're envious, you are typically envious of the person's advantages, much less commonly the person themselves.

Another difference between jealousy and envy is how positive they can be. Envy can sometimes be positive and playful. When a person receives a gift or reward, it's common to playfully say, "Wow, I'm envious," jealousy, on the other hand, is almost always negative. When that same person receives the said gift, the target of your jealousy becomes the person, not the gift; you want the same situation, but with you on the receiving end instead of them. So, while envy can be a force for positivity, jealousy seeks to undermine other people, making it hard for it to be a positive force.

Jealousy Is A Natural Human Emotion But Don't Let It Consume You

Jealousy is a natural feeling to experience. Humans experience it countless times during their lives, even if they don't mean to cast suspicion on other people. If something good happens to someone, why doesn't it happen to everyone? Jealousy can be a way to express how you feel about that particular truth. If you feel jealousy towards someone, it's okay; it can be a way to understand your own emotions better. Don't let that jealousy consume you or motivate you to act on it. Jealousy is best kept to yourself and not used as a way to harm other people.

Top 5 Quotes About Jealousy To Encourage You To Be Better

Sometimes, people need help pushing away their jealousy. If you're having a hard time moving past it, you might need some encouragement. Inspirational words and quotes might be the right ticket to getting you out of that slump. We've got some for you to read to see if it'll help out. Breathe lightly, and think deeply about these inspirational sayings, and hopefully, their deep meanings can help you.

Here are 5 quotes about jealousy to help encourage you:

"Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind." - Mary Schmich

Jealousy is a natural feeling. It comes and goes, never leaving too lasting of a mark unless you dwell on it. When you're jealous of someone, remember this: everything is temporary, including the person you're jealous of. You'll eventually find something about them you're not jealous of, which will balance out any momentary jealousy you feel towards them.

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud."

- 1 Corinthians 13:4

If you find yourself harboring jealousy towards your significant other, step back and look back at what brought you together. If you still love them, you'll find the strength inside to move past your jealousy. Your love for them isn't founded on jealousy, boastfulness, or pride - if you truly love them, you'll learn to lose your jealousy and support them instead. Support them through both the good times and the bad, and you'll love them again.

"I think it's important to get your surroundings as well as yourself into a positive state - meaning surround yourself with positive people, not the kind who are negative and jealous of everything you do."- Heidi Klum

Jealousy can be a product of a negative environment. Such environments can breed resentment and suspicion and cause you to envy even the people you're close to. If you notice that you're dwelling on dark thoughts, try surrounding yourself in sunshine and happiness. It'll cleanse the jealousy from your mind like the sun piercing through dark clouds.

"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening."- Maya Angelou

Everything is in moderation. Sometimes, a little bit of jealousy can help move a romance along. Sometimes, it can unlock deeper and purer feelings from the person you're interested in if they pick up that you're jealous of the attention others give them. But like everything else, too much in excess can spoil the romance rotten. Learn to keep the jealousy lighthearted, and the romance can be sweeter than you might think.

"Love shouldn't be about jealousy or anything like that. It should be about commitment and being able to trust that person. If you can't have that from the get-go, there's a problem." - Aaron Carter

Aaron Carter raises a good point regarding people's issues with trusting one another. If you find yourself too seething and jealous of another person, can you really say you love them? If all you feel towards that person is jealousy and envy, perhaps you don't feel the proper kind of love needed to start a relationship with them. Take a step back, try to move past your jealousy, and see whether you're meant to be together.

Frequently Asked Questions

Now that you've read this far, you've likely learned a lot about jealousy and ways to help combat it. Like anything, jealousy can be helpful in small amounts, but too much can be bad for your relationships with others. Do you have more questions? If so, I've got a few more questions to answer for you. Hopefully, this will educate you further about the nature of jealousy.

Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?

As stated above, jealousy can be an important spice to a budding relationship. Jealousy can be a drive to find out more about another person or motivation to want to be closer to them. Too much jealousy, however, can sour a relationship and even shatter it outright. Keep your jealous thoughts harmless and playful, and you'll enjoy becoming closer to someone without seriously harming your relationship with them and other people.

What types of thoughts do these jealous feelings spark?

Jealous thoughts can spark resentment and mistrust towards other people. Jealousy is suspicion and distrust and can cause you to doubt them and question their actions. As long as you don't dwell too long on your jealousy, you should be fine from thinking bad thoughts; dwell too long, and you can teeter dangerously close to just disliking the person outright.

Can healthy jealousy help you build stronger relationships?

It can! Jealousy can motivate you to want to become closer to another person, learn more about them, and discover more about your own feelings toward them. As the name implies, healthy jealousy is a healthy outlet for your feelings towards your relationships. As long as you maintain it at a healthy level, it can get you closer to each other than you would without them.

What makes some people more prone to jealous feelings?

Negativity and insecurity can cause people to harbor jealous feelings towards others. Believing you're unfortunate and seeing others as more fortunate can cause comparisons to arise, and such comparisons can easily lead to jealousy towards others. By removing the negative influences and inserting positive ones, people can get past their jealousy and become happier people.

Am I a bad person for being jealous?

Not at all! It's a natural emotion people experience plenty of times in their lives. As long as you let jealousy remain as just that, you aren't a bad person for envying others. In fact, it can be a motivation for you to become better like them. But, don't let that jealousy cause you to harm other people! Only use it as a way to get to their level, not bring them down to yours.

More Tips on How to Get Over A Guy

Jealousy isn't the only problem we face. Check out these other posts for more advice on everyday issues we all need help with.

  1. Don't know what to do after a breakup? Don't worry, we've been there, and we've all got through it with a bit of help.
  2. "Should I text him?" Guys don't always have to text first, you know?
  3. Do you want to learn how to make a guy fall in love with you and make him your boyfriend? We've got all the details in just a few steps from a relationship expert!

In Conclusion

So, if you're like the rest of us that deal with jealousy and similar bad feelings, hopefully, this guide can help you find out how to stop being jealous in no time. Overcoming jealousy is possible. You shouldn't be a jealous person forever.

Jealousy is plain ugly, and you'll look (and feel) way better without it. Jealous behavior shows low self-esteem. Hopefully, you'll be able to get over your jealousy before it ruins any of your relationships.

But, if it already has, get advice on how to get over a breakup, or better yet, how to fix a relationship if you know you're the one who messed up.

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