If you're wondering how to tell what a guy wants from you, there are obvious signs in his body language that give away his true intentions. Subtle hints often reveal his interest.
I'm an expert in how to tell if a guy likes you and reading between the lines when it comes to guys' intentions. You can read my insights on blogs posted at places like UpJourney for more related posts that answer your burning questions about guys. Here, I tackle how to tell what a guy wants from you in an easy-to-understand manner.
How To Tell What A Guy Wants From You - 5 Body Language Signs
Body language is the best way of telling what a guy wants from you and is often the best signs of attraction. While his words may convey one meaning, knowing his true intentions can be more complex. These body language signs will reveal the truth, so pay attention!
1. He Points His Body Toward You
Pointing your body towards someone indicates interest. Interest can mean an emotional, physical, or intellectual connection with the person they are talking to. For guys, the thing to watch for here is their limbs pointing toward you. It doesn't necessarily have to be their entire body gravitating toward you. Rather, you should pay special attention to his legs and arms.
Seeing his legs and arms pointed in your direction when the two of you are in a group indicates interest that can turn into a romantic attraction. However, these body language signs do not always convey romantic interest. Make sure to consider your current relationship before assuming a romantic interest.
2. He Makes Eye Contact
Eye contact is another way of knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you. While eye contact is a telling sign for both guys and girls, it is more meaningful for guys if he is making more eye contact than usual. Eye contact doesn't mean he will stare at you incessantly without blinking. Rather his gaze will linger a bit longer when he meets your eyes. In eye contact, you'll also notice he stays invested in the conversation or situation. Meaning, his attention stays on you and what is happening as supposed to wandering around the background.
3. He Smiles A Lot
Smiling a lot indicates amusement or bashfulness. It is a good sign if he smiles while talking to you, as it means he's comfortable around you. However, it can also be interpreted as a sign of flirtation if he keeps smiling after telling you that you're cute.
Smiling a lot can also signal his attempts to show affection and interest in taking your relationship to the next level. If you are close friends, he may want to initiate a romantic date or a more intimate relationship with you. Generally, smiling around you indicates he is trying to catch your attention and hold it.
4. He Finds Ways To Initiate Physical Contact
Finding ways to initiate physical contact signals that a guy wants to build a closer connection with you affectionately and personally. For guys, initiating physical contact is a way to say he wants to connect with him more closely. Initiating physical contact is also a body language sign indicating he is comfortable being around you, which can mean he feels emotionally vulnerable and receptive to your relationship.
However, not all initiations of physical contact mean romantic involvement or investment. In some cases, initiating physical contact is a normal part of casual dating. For example, if a guy and a girl are getting to know each other better, they might initiate physical contact to get to know each other better. In other cases, a guy will initiate physical contact with a girl he finds attractive to keep the attention on him.
5. He Mirrors Your Body Language
One of the most telling signs of attraction in knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you is mirroring body language. When a guy reflects your body language, he is trying to imitate you. It's a form of communication that tells you a guy finds you attractive and that he may also be interested in you romantically.
When mirroring your body language, you may catch him matching your gestures, expressions, and body posture. He may copy the way you hold yourself and walk. He may even try to imitate your style and mannerisms. If he does this, you can be sure he is interested in you.
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5 Signs He Only Wants To Be Friends With You
Learning to tell what a guy wants from you can be challenging to understand, and it often needs to be understood. However, being interested in a guy and not knowing what he wants from you is frustrating to take a guess. So, to make it easier, watch for these signs that show he only wants to be friends with you.
1.) He doesn't react to "hints" for something more
Sending out "hints" to a guy that signal you are interested in something more is an effective way to nudge him into making the first move. However, if you notice that your hints border on the obvious and he still doesn't "catch your drift," it may hint that he wants to be or remain friends. Hints like joking about going on a date are obvious borderline hints. If his response shows discomfort or outright rejection of your hypothetical situation, it is a sure sign for you to catch the hint that he isn't interested beyond being your friend.
2.) The two of you usually hang out in a group
Another sure sign that a guy is only interested in being friends is when you only hang out in a group. While it's great to hang with him and a group from time to time, if he always invites people to join or only calls to meet up with others who will also be around, it is a sign he is not after a romantic relationship.
On the other hand, if he is always trying to get space from a group, so it's just the two of you, you can take this as him aiming to make a move and initiate a romantic relationship. However, it's important to consider what type of guy he is.
Some guys are shy and prefer hanging out with others while with you, even if he is interested romantically. Take this sign with a grain of salt and get more details on his feelings before assuming what he wants from you.
3.) He talks about romantic interests with you
Talking about his other romantic interests with you is a very telling sign that he only wants to be your friend. Guys interested in someone won't talk about their romantic involvements or feelings for others to that person. While it is disheartening, remember that he probably trusts your insights and opinions if he tells you about the person he is romantically drawn to.
But, since he is talking to you about it and you are interested in him, keep in mind that he may not reciprocate your feelings. Building a close friendship is valuable, and a guy who openly talks about and trusts you with his current attachment shows his closeness to you as a friend.
4.) You seem to make "the moves."
Making a move to show romantic interest isn't limited to guys. Nowadays, it's perfectly acceptable for girls to make a move to show interest in a more serious relationship. However, notice that you've been dating for a while, and it feels like you are still making all the moves to get close to him romantically. It can be a sign that he isn't looking for a romantic or serious relationship with you past being friends. Sometimes, a guy might feel shy to tell you directly what he wants from you. With that, it's best to discuss where the relationship is going and clear up any expectations.
5.) He introduces you as a "close friend."
When a guy introduces you as a close friend, take it as he says. Being introduced as a friend solidifies how he sees you, and it can get tricky to navigate how to get out of the friend zone once you are there. While it isn't always a hopeless situation, being his close friend often makes it hard for him to see you as anything more. Yes, you two have a special relationship, but getting it to become romantic might not be in the cards.
3 Signs He Only Wants Your Body (Nothing Else)
Guys are often hard to read. Sometimes, he may seem sincere and interested in you, but it could turn out that he only wants your body and nothing else. Unlike the signs that he wants to be friends, signs that he is interested in your body and nothing else might be more well-concealed and subtle.
With that, it's essential to know how to spot them so you can act accordingly and make sure you don't expect something more from him and end up having your expectations about having a serious relationship trashed.
1.) He only talks to you late at night.
If the guy you are with is only initiating conversations and calls late at night, and it's rare that he talks to you during the day, it could be a telling sign that he only wants your body. This relationship usually consists of no strings attached or a physical relationship without commitment. Many guys fall into this relationship pattern, and it can be uncomfortable and hurtful if you expect something more than a physical relationship.
Only talking to you consistently late at night falls under the signs he doesn't want a relationship with you. He might only want a physical relationship with no emotional or committed strings attached.
2.) He's not interested in getting to know you better.
Guys who are completely uninterested in getting to know more about you, such as your hobbies, family, career plans, or other activities that interest you, it's a sign that he's after a physical relationship and nothing else. Guys interested in more than just physical relationships will take time to ask questions about your life and show interest in who you are. They'll dive deeper into your commonalities and habits to win you over.
Seeing that he doesn't take the time to understand your likes, interests, and hobbies is a red flag that he is after a purely physical relationship.
One tell-tale way to gauge whether or not he is trying to get to know you better is to pay attention to his attention span when you are having a serious conversation. A guy willing to learn more about you will pay close attention, ask questions, and engage with your words. On the other hand, a guy who is only after a physical relationship may consistently turn the conversation back to the present moment and not ask questions that may lead to serious discussions or emotional connections.
3.) He doesn't initiate romantic gestures.
Any relationship coach will tell you that a serious commitment is a mix of romantic gestures, getting to know someone, and spending quality time with each other. However, a guy who is only interested in your body won't take the time to plan romantic gestures that will melt your heart. He is in it for the short term, so that type of investment in a relationship is not worth it to him.
In some cases, a guy may send mixed signals. He will do one or two romantic things but suddenly seem stone-cold once he gets what he is after. Noticing this sign means there is a good chance that he is only after your body and nothing else, rather than a serious or committed relationship with you.
5 Signs He Wants A Serious Relationship With You
Wanting a serious relationship with a girl means a guy will take the time to make her feel special and important. It also means he'll take the time to make you feel like you have a coveted place in his life and that he wants to keep you there. These signs he loves you will tell you that he's all in and willing to go the distance, and take your relationship to the next level.
1.) He listens to you when you have stories to tell.
Girls love to tell stories about themselves to those willing to listen. If you notice that a guy is taking the time to not only listen but engage in what you are saying by asking questions or throwing in cute comments, he is in it for a serious relationship. Taking the effort to listen to you and see what you are interested in, what your past is like, and what you have planned for the future shows he is interested in being there for you for the long haul.
Also, listening to someone intently indicates that they have an emotional connection to them and is a great sign that he has romantic feelings for you on a deeper and more meaningful level.
2.) You don't feel like you're chasing him.
It's very frustrating to feel like you are the one chasing a guy you are interested in. Luckily, guys who intend to be in a serious relationship will not make you feel this way. It will feel more like a give-and-take situation where both of you have equal footing in the relationship, and neither is reaching or falling behind. When guys make a girl chase them, it is a sign that he isn't interested in her or wants something from her.
On the other hand, those who want a serious relationship will take the effort and time to be with the girl they love and make every second of quality time count to win her heart.
3.) He makes plans for two.
Making long-term plans for two is a sure sign that a guy has a romantic interest in you for a serious relationship. It's sometimes difficult for guys to look that far into the future to make plans, as they are often caught up in making sure things are perfect in their present. Planning for the future means he is satisfied with his current situation and is looking further ahead to ensure it is just as excellent.
His plans show his commitment and seriousness in the relationship, and it's a huge plus if he takes the time to talk about hypotheticals with you. Doing so is his way of gauging your plans and how they fit into his, because he has ideas of sticking with you for a long time.
4.) Physical intimacy feels natural.
Guys who want a serious relationship won't push for physical intimacy if a girl wants a serious relationship, if the moment is not right or if the situation feels unnatural. He'll want your first times to be meaningful, sweet, romantic, and memorable, so he'll wait for the perfect opportunity to make his move because he knows he has the time. On the other hand, a guy not looking for any serious commitments may speed up the process of getting down to physical intimacy so he can move on.
Making sure each moment is natural and perfect for the both of you also shows that he values you and what you think of him as a man, making him more aware of how his actions impact you and the relationship.
5.) He isn't afraid of your label.
There are situations where guys shy away from labels, or feel uncomfortable when people start teasing them about being someone's boyfriend. However, guys looking for a serious relationship won't take these jests in a bad light. Rather, they may feel smitten if the relationship has only begun, or they will feel proud that the relationship has been going on for a while.
Either way, they won't feel irritated or feel the need to defend themselves aggressively for being labeled your man in front of other people.
The 3 Most Confusing Things Guys Usually Do
Guys sometimes send out confusing signals when expressing their true intentions and actions. However, knowing the common confusing signs can help you decide whether or not he has sincere intentions of being with you or is just playing with you to get what he wants. That way, you can make the call on whether the relationship is heading for true love or a true breakdown.
1. He's hot and cold with you.
Being hot and cold can end in two ways. The first is that he is being hot and cold because he genuinely wants a serious relationship with you, and he might think he is being too clingy or too much for you, which is just "uncool." These situations are quite common for high school and early college guys who still abide by peer pressure, especially if his group of friends is the jockey and sporty type.
The second biggest sign of being hot and cold is that he is after something and wants to make enough effort to get it but not enough to show serious commitment to a long-term relationship. While being treated with the hot and cold treatment is annoying, the key to knowing whether or not he is after something serious is to gauge his actions around you. If he is invested in spending quality time with you, this is a sign he may want to be with you, but is unsure how far to take it.
2. He flirts with you but doesn't make a move.
Flirting is a guy's way of showing interest in a girl, whether it's just for the moment or he wants it to lead to something more. However, if he flirts with you but doesn't show any signs of making a move to get the relationship to the next level, then it may be time to reconsider your relationship and move on instead of waiting for "the move" to take place, because chances are, it won't come. When a guy flirts with you and doesn't make a move, it could be that he is either showing off or proving a point to himself (or his friends), which means that past that, there is nothing to build a relationship off of.
3. He says one thing but does another.
No one likes a flaky person, and a guy saying one thing but doing another is a confusing yet obvious sign that he doesn't even know what he wants. Saying one thing and doing another is sure to be a frustrating situation that leaves you hanging and wondering what he wants from you. With that, it's best to talk to him about his intentions and bring up your concern about this trait of his.
In most cases, there is a good explanation, but in others, it's simply that he isn't as interested in building a relationship as you may have thought.
3 Ways To Avoid Being Confused With His Intentions For You
Knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you is just the first part of saving yourself from the heartache and heartbreak of unrealistic expectations. Luckily, there are a few ways to avoid being confused with his intentions and make it easy for you to figure out exactly what he wants from you without all the confusion and senseless wondering.
1. Talk to him about his intentions.
One of the best ways to avoid confusion in knowing how to tell what a guy wants from you is to be straight with him about it and talk to him. Chances are, directly asking him what he wants from you will give you more answers than guessing could. Plus, if he seems nervous or keeps changing the subject, it's a tell-all sign he is hiding his true intentions about what he wants.
Guys who know what they want from a girl won't mind discussing it and being upfront about it. Talking with him directly also saves time and keeps everyone from expectations that may not even be there.
2. Pay attention to his actions.
Another way to avoid being confused with his intentions is to pay attention to his actions. Actions speak louder than words, and if there is a mismatch in these two aspects of his attitude, it can signal his real intentions. Emotionally unavailable men tend to speak less and act more, meaning how they act is the best way to gauge what he wants from you.
Also, men who say one thing and do another may not have the best intentions in mind, especially if he keeps planning romantic dates but back out at the last minute.
3. Don't assume anything.
The last way to avoid confusion is not to assume anything that isn't directly stated. Yes, he may give obvious signs of what he wants from you, but use that as a topic of conversation, and don't act purely on the signs he is sending out. More often than not, assuming that certain words or actions mean something leads to disappointment or embarrassing situations that you'd rather avoid.
Plus, eliminating assumptions makes it clearer for both of you where your relationship stands and where it could go without the "he said, she said" drama.
Frequently Asked Questions
Uncovering the skills to tell what a guy wants from you is more challenging than it seems. Sometimes, the signs are so subtle that even the most tuned attention isn't enough. Even so, all the tips and signs listed above helped to some degree. However, here are some last frequently asked questions about how to tell what a guy wants from you to wrap things up.
How do you know if a guy is not interested in you anymore?
Guys who have lost interest in a girl often distance themselves from her. Distancing can come in many forms, but the most common is emotional distancing. This means he no longer seems invested or engaged in your conversations with him, and he tends to space out, do something else, or cut the conversation short altogether.
Another common sign that a guy is no longer interested is when he finds reasons not to go out. In this case, you'll start to notice that there is always something else he had planned or last-minute things that need his time exactly when you had something planned together.
This guy likes me, and I want him too, but I am not ready for a relationship. What would I do?
If you get the feeling that a guy is interested in you and intends to start a serious relationship you aren't ready for, the best thing to do is express your thoughts in conversation. The last thing you want is for him to assume you are giving him attention and time because you are also after a serious relationship. Talking about it and clarifying your intentions makes it easier for you to respect each other, even in a casual relationship, should it turn out that way.
Why do boys have difficulty expressing their feelings?
Not all guys have difficulty expressing their feelings, but in cases where they do, it's often due to a past relationship, their current life situation, or it's just not their personality to be upfront and open about what they feel. Remember, society has very high and strict standards for men expressing their feelings and emotions, and while times have changed, there are still many stigmas about men and how they should act. Men also tend to find it difficult to open up about their feelings because they fear looking weak and spineless to the people or persons they want to impress most.
How can you tell if a guy is taking advantage of you?
A real man looking for a real relationship will give you time, attention, and a feeling of safety and comfort. On the other hand, men who want to take advantage of you won't care for your time or attention and will often speed things along until they get what they want. The key sign here is to see if he rushes into something with you or takes his time and considers how you feel.
If he is rushing through, he is likely taking advantage of you, but if he keeps things at a comfortable pace for you, then it's likely he wants something serious and is waiting for the ideal moment and place for everything to happen naturally.
More Awesome Articles About Approaching Men
Read for relationship advice and get the best insights on relationships and dating with these awesome blog posts.
- Read these amazing tips on how to ask a guy out so you can make a lasting impression.
- Here's how to start a conversation with a guy and spark a meaningful connection with him with a few simple words.
- Try out these questions to ask a guy to learn more about him and what he likes.
There are tons of subtle signs to watch out for regarding how to tell what a guy wants from you. While each may mean more than one thing, having an idea of his genuine interest goes a long way in starting the right conversation with him about his expectations in the relationship and whether or not he is serious about you. Ideally, you'll avoid confusion and mystery in guessing so you two can focus on building a relationship without the nitty gritty drama.
Remember, it's the little things that show his true feelings, not the mind games and inconsistent actions.