This article has plenty of steamy sex questions to help spice up your sex life.
Part of my job as a dating expert is to help women find physical intimacy with their partners. Some of these tips have been featured on UpJourney.
Ultimate List of Questions For Your Partner That Will Make Them Feel Comfortable About Sex
Sexual intimacy is more than just foreplay, dirty talk, and reaching orgasm. A big chunk of it is establishing emotional intimacy and fulfilling your partner's sexual fantasy. This ultimate list of sexual questions is hot enough to spark sexual desire and tender enough to arouse sexual pleasure.
6 Best Sexually Intimate Questions Guaranteed to Get to Know Them Better
Emotional intimacy is an important part of having sexual intimacy with your partner. And what better way to do that than to learn your beau's most erotic sexual desire and raciest sexual fantasy? These sexy questions to ask your boyfriend are sure to get him in the mood.
1. Do you think sex increases intimacy and makes our relationship stronger?
Scientifically speaking, sex is a proven way to increase physical intimacy and emotional intimacy between romantic partners. Every time we touch, hug, kiss, or have sexual intercourse with our partners, our body produces oxytocin, or what scientists call a love hormone that plays an important role in helping us form bonds. So yes. If you're having good sex, it does strengthen not just your intimacy but also your relationship.
2. When do you feel closest to me?
Asking this question is a great way to strengthen your bond with your boyfriend and understand how to love him better. We all have different needs in a relationship, and being able to love your partner in a way that resonates with them is only one of the foolproof ways to ignite sexual pleasure.
3. What do you need from me when we are doing it?
Being able to fulfill your partner's sexual desire is key to good sex. Perhaps he's been wanting to try a new sex position? Maybe he needs more foreplay. Perhaps a sex dream he wants to try in real life? Whatever it is, being able to talk about and compromise about what you and your boyfriend out of sex can drastically improve your lovemaking.
4. What turns you on?
Dirty talk always works for me, but sex isn't the same for everyone. Some men love oral sex, and some have a thing for rough sex. Some take their time doing foreplay, while others enjoy seeing a woman orgasm. Asking this question to your boyfriend will help you figure out the best way to turn on his sex drive.
5. Why do you think people have sexual fantasies?
Sexual fantasies are products of our subconscious thoughts. Some have it because they have a sexual desire that hasn't been fulfilled yet, some imagine themselves having a sexual encounter with a famous person, and some do it to get their minds off things.
6. What does intimacy mean to you?
Intimacy can mean differently for each person. Asking this question to your significant other will make him feel more seen and heard and fire up your next sexual encounter.
6 Interesting To Ask to Know Your Partner's Preference
Knowing what your partner wants from sex is a game changer for your sex life. Like everything else, sex has to be learned and understood for people to enjoy it. These interesting questions to ask a guy might be the sexiest thing you could do for your sex life.
7. Do you have a sexy song that keeps you in the mood?
Music is a vessel of emotions, and it does help you get in the mood for sex. I mean, have you tried making love to John Mayer's "Slow Dancing in A Burning Room" or Cigarette After Sex's "Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby?"
8. Why do some people love to be in control in bed?
Trust me. Being sexually aroused by domination isn't the weirdest thing you'll find out about a guy. To each, our own, am I right?
9. What does it mean to have an active sex life?
To be sexually active means to engage in many sexual activities, such as oral sex, anal sex, rough sex, or playing with a sex toy with a sexual partner or two (depending on what you can tolerate, of course).
10. What do you wish we would try?
Sometimes trying out new things outside of your comfort zone might just be what you and your boyfriend need to have the best orgasm of your life. Have you heard of the "Amazon" sex position? If you haven't yet, see for yourself.
11. Will you tell/show me what you like?
Now, this is a great way to initiate foreplay and turn on your partner. This is one of the dirty questions every "couple questions game" has. If this doesn't excite your boyfriend, I don't know what will.
12. What's your definition of amazing sex?
Amazing sex for me is having multiple orgasms that I didn't fake. Am I right, ladies? You might want to take note of your boyfriend's answer for future reference.
6 Personal Things About Rated 18+ Topics You Could Ask Your Special Someone
These personal questions to ask your beau might come with surprising answers, so you may want to think before you ask.
13. What was your most embarrassing sexual experience?
We all had the weirdest thing happen to us while having sex, and while some of them are laughable, others are just downright creepy. I once had cops bust my ex-boyfriend and me in a parking lot.
14. What bad habits have you developed in our relationship that you think need to change?
Bad habits, like mistakes, can build up and negatively affect a relationship. It's a hard pill to swallow, but talking about and finding ways to resolve these kinds of stuff will save you a lot of fights in the future.
15. How much detail about your experiences with me are you comfortable talking about with other people?
What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom. At least, that's a rule of thumb for most people. The only time you should be talking about your sexual experiences with someone is if it's with your sex therapist. Consider it common courtesy.
16. Are bad sexual experiences inevitable and irreparable?
A bad sexual experience is inevitable, but it's not always irreparable. If you think a traumatic sexual encounter is affecting how you view sex, it's best to seek help from a professional sex therapist.
17. Do you think foreplay matters, and how long should it take?
Foreplay matters, especially for women, but most men tend to skimp on it. Foreplay is important because it prepares and stimulates both the mind and body for sex. For a woman, it lubricates her intimate area, making sexual intercourse more comfortable.
Sex experts recommend spending at least 10 minutes of foreplay, focusing on stroking and kissing erogenous zones such as the stomach, inner thigh, and breasts before moving towards the genital area.
18. How many people have you slept with?
Asking this question might be a little tricky, so if you're not prepared to find out your boyfriend's body count, best to save this one for later.
5 Fun Ice Breakers You Could Use to Make Him Feel Comfortable Around You
Being able to laugh and feel comfortable being yourself with your significant other is an important part of sexual intimacy. These fun icebreakers are great ways to ease pressures in the bedroom and make sex more enjoyable between couples.
19. If you could choose one superpower, what would it be?
Who doesn't want superpowers? If I could choose one, I'd probably wish to be like Elastigirl. That woman can seriously stretch.
20. What are your favorite parts of my body?
My favorite part of a man's body would be his shoulders. There's just something about strong and broad shoulders that I find incredibly sexy.
Do you know what would make this question even better? Rephrase it and turn it into, "Will you kiss your favorite parts of my body?" Thank me later.
21. When do you feel the most confident?
Making your significant other feel wanted in bed does many wonders in having amazing sex. Asking this question will help make your guy feel more body positive and yearned for. Maybe your boyfriend has a favorite sex position that makes him feel more dominant in the bedroom. Perhaps engaging him with dirty talk is one way to turn him on.
22. What's something most people don't know about you?
The more open couples are with each other, the more reassured they feel towards one another, and the better sex is for them.
23. What do I do that makes you feel loved?
According to marriage counselor Gary Chapman, understanding and fulfilling your significant other's love language is a proven way to strengthen your bond with each other. If you're looking to spark your passion for one another, do so in a way that would make your beau feel most appreciated.
Downloadable and Printable List of Sex Questions
Here is a jpg/pdf list of sex questions to easily take the pressure down in bed (right-click the image and select Save Image As...):
5 Other Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Confident in Bed
Are your bedroom escapades lacking luster? Are you past your honeymoon stage and looking for ways to spice up your sex life? Is your boyfriend not looking at you the same way? If you're wondering how to make him want you, following these simple tips will help put the cake back in your sex life.
1. Touch each other more often.
Physical touch is an important aspect of sexual intimacy. Studies have shown that couples are happier when they touch each other often. Whether it's a hug, back rub, gentle hand-holding, or a playful tickle, the more intimate and frequent you touch each other, the more satisfied you'll be in your relationship.
How do you maximize the power of a touch, you might ask. One of the simplest ways to do that is to cuddle. Here's a tip, the next time you cuddle, do it in different positions or snuggle with your clothes off. Doing so would add a layer of warmth to your usual cuddles and make them even more sensual.
Another way to maximize the power of touch is by giving each other massages. This is perfect after a long day of work. Giving each other a massage is a reward in itself and is a great way to turn each other on.
If you don't like the idea of giving each other a massage, maybe you'd care for a shower for two? Or perhaps food play? Varying sensations such as the feeling of warm, melted chocolate being drizzled all over your body (not to mention having your partner lick it off you) or a cool object being traced down from your lips to your stomach are sultry ways to get each other in the mood.
2. Give him compliments.
Men love compliments, too, you know? This is why dirty talks work wonders when trying to turn him on. There's just something so carnal and naughty about a woman teasing you during sex. Phrases like "You're so hot," and "You're so good at that," can certainly boost a man's ego and leave him wanting to please you more.
3. Start slow and set limits.
Of course, setting boundaries is also important to have safe and pleasurable sex. Establishing safe words and discussing what you're comfortable with is a must before having sex. If you're not used to having these kinds of conversations, setting up ground rules such as, "I'd like to do X, but not Y," or asking questions like, "Can we do X before we move on to Y" will help you better communicate what you want and don't want out of sex.
As for understanding what your partner prefers in bed, you can try asking him questions like, "What do you enjoy?" "Are you willing to try X with me?" or "Would you want to do X and then Y after a while?"
4. Don't be afraid to make the first move.
If you were the queen I thought you were, you wouldn't be intimidated by making the first move. If anything, a guy would appreciate it if a girl initiates sex for once. Sex can be a lot of pressure for men and women, and being the first to make a move didn't hurt anybody. Granted that it's consensual, of course.
5. Set the mood.
Setting the mood is key for pleasurable and amazing sex, and there are many ways you can do it. The first thing you need to do is to set your intentions. Are you looking forward to having wild and rough sex? Or are you in the mood for sensual and more passionate lovemaking? Making sure you and your boyfriend are on the same page will make every moment of your sexual congress worth it.
Next, dim the lights. According to clinical sexologist and sex coach Sunny Rodgers, lighting is a tried and true way to set a sexy mood. Dim the lights and throw in some scented candles to make your lovemaking even more sensual. Another awesome way to turn up the heat is to crank up some steamy tunes. Listening to music while having sex is proven to awaken the same pleasure-seeking parts of the brain that are stimulated by sex.
Lastly, if you're comfortable enough to wear sexy lingerie, do it. Men are visual creatures, so indulge them with a hot piece of eye candy. If that doesn't get him in the mood, get yourself a new guy.
How Can Sleeping Together Draw You Closer Together as a Couple?
A happy sex life is a happy love life, so the more comfortable you are with each other, the better. But how exactly can sleeping together draw you closer together?
Sex Is an Expression of Love
Can you really have sex with someone you don't love? If you've been with more than one sexual partner and have experienced true love, you probably already know that sex with a person you truly love is way better than with a casual booty call.
Mushiness aside, every time you make love with your beau, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin which helps foster trust, bond, and contentment in your relationship.
Sex Breaks Relationship Rut
Relationships don't always feel like rainbows and butterflies. Over time, they can feel dull and monotonous from doing the same routine day in and day out, which is why it is incredibly important to try new things in the bedroom. Men love novelty, and nothing shakes up a sex life better than spontaneity in the bedroom.
Studies have shown that trying out new things and doing self-expanding activities and sexual behaviors together increase a couple's sexual satisfaction, help them see each other in a new light, and motivate them to spend more time together.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some more pointers that might help with your sexual escapades.
Why do men ask so many questions about sex?
I think it's natural for both men and women to be curious about sex. I mean, there are a lot of things to explore about it.
How do you show your partner affection?
There are many ways to show affection for your beau but if you want to make them feel loved, do things for them depending on their love language.
If it's words of affirmation, giving him compliments and words of encouragement works wonders. If his love language is acts of service, offer to wash his car, clean his room, and do errands with him. If he likes gifts, buying him something sentimental would be deeply appreciated. If he wants quality time, make sure to give him undivided attention. If it's physical touch, you already know what to do.
Ultimately, it's all about compromise.
What would be some early warning signs that your sexual relationship is in trouble?
One of the biggest red flags of a bad sex life is if sex always seems like a chore. Sex can bring a lot of pressure when there are no ground rules or when couples fail to establish expectations. This is why it's important to be mindful of it and practice safe and honest communication about sex with your partner.
How do you ask questions about sex roles?
Open communication is always key. Providing a safe and non-judgmental space where you and your partner can openly talk about what you need from each other during sex will make lovemaking more rewarding.
More Awesome Questions
If you have been living under a rock and just starting to explore the wonder of sex, here are some more helpful bits to help you warm up to it.
- First base virgin? This article will teach you how to kiss a guy like a pro.
- You don't have to be just a wallflower. These juicy questions to ask a guy might just get you a drink or a date.
- So you've been dating this guy for a while and thinking it's time to take it to the next level. These sexy questions to ask your crush will get the ball rolling.
I hope you enjoyed this list of steam sex questions.
Whether it's your first time or just looking to spice up your sex life, this list of sex questions is sure to heat up your bedroom.