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How To Text A Guy - featured

How To Text A Guy - 3 Simple steps to get his attention.

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Robin is our female dating expert, style guru and resident life coach. Her expertise has been featured on Reader's Digest, Bustle, Hello Giggles, Best Life Online, Cheat Sheet, and many more. She lives with her fian ...
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Are you wondering how to text a guy to get him interested in getting to know you? Then you've come to the right place! You've already done a lot of the hard part - you got his attention and you got his number! Now is the time for your winning personality to shine.

It can be hard enough to know how to talk to guys in person, much less over text, where it's impossible to read their nonverbal cues. But being a texting pro is one of the key steps of how to get a boyfriend, so, it's time for a mini Masterclass!

Why Is Knowing How to Text a Guy Important

The fact is, we live in the digital age and we have new tools to go with it! Our grandparents had sock-hops, and our parents had drive-in movies. Along with a lot of those same traditional dating tools, we have texting, messaging, apps and video streaming services! Knowing how to do things like text a guy are an integral part of this generation's courtship practices. 

How To Text A Guy

Knowing how to text a guy is a mix of common sense, street smarts, and a good grasp of how flirting works. A lot of the rules are the same as in-person talking - in fact, a good rule of thumb is, would this be weird for me to say to them at a restaurant? If there is any reason you think, " should I text him this?" you probably shouldn't hit send.

But there's more than just not saying the wrong thing. What you're trying to achieve through texting is chemistry. The mood you want to create with your text is banter. Aim for playful, light communication that's clear and invites deeper conversation.

Here is how to text a guy: 

1. Know How To Start A Conversation With A Guy

Knowing when and how to start a conversation with a guy can be difficult to discern even in the best circumstances. But just like in real life, there are cues that can tell you if a guy is interested in talking or not.

He gave you his number, so that's a great sign that he wants to chat with you. But, that doesn't mean he wants to talk anytime, anywhere. At first, skip super early mornings or late nights. You should still stick to normal daytime hours until you're established.

Start out by reminding him you are. That's a great, casual way to get the ball rolling.

Hey Matt, this is Bea, we met at 8Track last week. I've been wanting to reach out and say 'hey'.

Follow up with another short text - maybe an update about your week, then follow up with a question. Keep it light and casual, and leave the ball in his court.

If he responds, that's great! Keep the conversation going just like in person, with short-ish, clear messages that are a mix of questions and responses.

Tip 1. Ask questions to ask a guy over text

You probably already know that one of the best ways to have a good conversation is to ask a lot of questions. They're a great way to get to know someone better, and an amazing tool for jump starting an awkward pause.

There are a lot of questions to ask a guy over text outside of "how was your day?" and "what are you doing this weekend?" In fact, this is a great way to start some fun conversations that can carry into a future date! Try some questions like:

  1. A friend and I were talking about some of the latest news and it got me wondering - would you say you're a conspiracy theorist or not?
  2. I'm thinking of some exciting new things to try. Tell me, what is something you're super passionate about?

These open-ended questions will help you break out of the "friend-zone" and into more intimate and trust-building conversation.

One word of caution - don't just ask questions! You want him to feel like you're captivated by him, not grilling or interviewing him! Make sure to use questions as jumping-off points for other topics, and not as your only conversation style.

2. Know When to Take It Offline

If your guy is really responding to your questions, or your conversations are starting to get a little deeper or more complex, that's a great time to transition to real life!

This is a perfect segue to say, "I'd love to hear more about this! Can we meet up for coffee?" You've used your texts to build a deeper connection, and move to the next level of your relationship! This is pro level.

So, you have your date and things are going great. Don't stop now! Texting is a great way to support your ongoing IRL relationship. After a great conversation, text him a little later with a follow-up. A simple, "I really enjoyed talking about our desert island books! You made me think of some great ones I'd forgotten to read, so I went ahead and ordered them!" Now, you've carried your convo back to texts.

Creating multiple dimensions adds a lot of depth and health to your relationship. It also helps make sure that communication stays in context and things don't get misunderstood. So, keep using the texts to build connections, then exercise your new convo muscles in person, and start again!

3. Know When To Move Along

If he doesn't respond right away, that's ok! People get busy. Don't pepper him with messages. Wait a day or two, and try again! A simple, "Hey Matt, just wanted to connect. How have you been since I saw you?" is a great way to feel out if he's interested.

Max out at 3 attempts, then move along. He may just be busy, but you should save your efforts on someone who will prioritize getting back to you.

How To Flirt Over Text

Just like flirting in person is just talking with a little extra "Oomph," the same could be said for how to flirt over text. In fact, a lot of the same rules apply.

  • Be intentional with your texts, using good grammar and spelling.
  • Compliment their answers to your questions.
  • Use emojis (sparingly and appropriately) to show your genuine responses.
  • Be engaging, but don't monopolize the conversation.
  • Use questions to build a back and forth banter that feels friendly and light.

The goal is to create a connection and spark. Keep it positive and playful. Imagine that you're trying to make a cute, squinty-eyed smile as you're talking - translate that into your texts, and they'll feel your energy. 

More Steps To Get The Guy

There are a couple of guides to help you get the man of your dreams. Take a look at the articles we've prepared for you!

  1. Wondering how to attract men? Don't worry - we've got you covered.
  2. If you need help on how to tell if a guy likes you, this is the list for you!
  3. Here are the top tips on how to get a guy to like you!

In Conclusion

Now that you know how to text a guy like a pro, you can feel self-assured the next time someone slips you their number. In fact, you may find that flirting through texting is one of the best ways how to talk to guys!

You can really think about what you want to say, put your best foot forward, and can highlight your quick wit. Like it or not, texting is part of modern romance, and digital dating is one of the main methods on how to get a boyfriend! Even if you're new to dating this way, stick to these tips, and you're ready to hit "send" with confidence! 

About The Author

Anonymous

Robin is our female dating expert, style guru and resident life coach. Her expertise has been featured on Reader's Digest, Bustle, Hello Giggles, Best Life Online, Cheat Sheet, and many more. She lives with her fiancee in Austin and loves to cook and play with her cat.

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